Recovering from the Pandemic: Dealing with the Growing Mental Health Crisis and Reintegration of the World

A year ago we all thought we would be so excited to return to “normal” once the pandemic petered out, was solved, or we all just embraced the zombie apocalypse.  As time has gone on though many people have found that the pandemic has impacted them in ways they did not at all anticipate.  For those who were largely happy to stay home almost all the time, they are finding that the home is even starting to feel a little constrictive and are chomping at the bit to get out of the house.  For many, who have not been impacted in job loss, struggling to pay bills, or any of the similar ways the pandemic has impacted a large swatch of people in the world, they are still struggling.  The pandemic is creating another pandemic that is not getting the discussion in the media that COVID is getting.  Between the mental health crisis looming and the anxiety that people are now experiencing with the thought if resuming some of the normal things they used to do, there is a great wave coming and it is likely impacting all of us in some way shape or form.  We may not be recognizing it yet.  In fact, for many people they have sort of settled into a new normal, and the only thing that wakes them from that pseudo hibernation they are engaged in, is when they do something that was “normal” just over a year ago.  So, how do we cope with the changes that are coming in our future, how do we reconcile the new normal, the old normal, and use both of those to inform the actual new normal we will have to learn to accept?

To begin with, for those who have struggled with the world prior to the pandemic, the silver lining here is that this situation is sort of a soft reset for all of us.  Over the last year people have all responded differently to the pandemic, with some still making a great deal of time and efforts to socialize, contrary to the caution given by leading authorities in healthcare.  For many, they have stuck to infinitesimally small bubbles to socialize with, and even then have often said they didn’t feel comfortable getting together because of the global bastard.  This is a great example of setting a boundary, and something to carry forward into the after times.  Historically, many people struggle to say no to things they don’t really want to do, and they would celebrate anything that was a legitimate excuse to get out of things.  Guess what?  “I don’t want to” is actually a legitimate excuse, and one that you don’t even have to fully explain to others.  Saying “no” is all you have to say, and if you want to soften the blow of “no” you can take it a step further and say “no, thank you for thinking of me, but I will pass this time.  Please let me know next time and hopefully that will work out”.  Setting boundaries is for you, and it makes your life easier.  If nothing else, take this as the silver lining from the pandemic going forward, you now can actually say no to going out when you would rather sit at home and watch “The Office” again.

For those of you itching to get out, you likely are questioning how to be around people again.  Nike would tell you to Just Do It, and in essence, that is the real answer.  It is going to feel awkward and disjointed if you have put your social life on hold but go into the world with an open mind.  Be vulnerable and let people know when shit feel awkward and say “fuck, I honestly don’t even remember how to sit in a public space and have a conversation now”.  You’ll likely be rewarded with someone on the receiving end who is feeling similarly to that and maybe the two of you share a laugh and then just resume the old way of being socially awkward.  We have all been impacted by the global bastard, and it isn’t Lord Voldemort (as in you can’t name it) so you might as well just dive in and be like “man, fuck COVID, am I right?”.  I often share with my clients that we don’t get the deeper connections we all crave without vulnerability, so if we have to lead the awkward dance, then so be it.  In time and with practice we will be back in whatever weird groove we had going before this started.  In that vein, don’t take people saying “no” to going out as a rejection of you necessarily (unless you ask them on a date and they say “I am not interested in you like that” because that is an actual rejection) but rather understand that people will have different comfort levels coming out of the pandemic.  For some, they may a couple weeks following a vaccine head straight to Chili’s, and that is okay if that’s what suits them.  For others, it may take seeing case counts super small for them to be willing to venture out.  Just recognize we are all relearning how to be social animals again.

The last point I want to really focus on is how important taking care of your mental health is now and going forward.Going through a global pandemic is an experience we will never forget because it has impacted us deeply.For those who previously dealt with mental health issues you may have struggled to access the same systems of care you previously were well-versed with.For those who had put off dealing with long-standing issues you may have just entered the system of care.There are even more yet, who still are attempting to white-knuckle their way through life.If things feel disjointed, reach out for help.Find a good therapist.If you need to, find a psychiatrist who can help you with medications.The key is finding someone you connect with and can build a therapeutic alliance with.Even someone touted as “the best therapist in the world” is not the right fit for everyone.You have to find someone who is “the best therapist in the world…for me” because that is the only way you will ever begin to recover from the wounds that you have been silently suffering with.Be patient with yourself.Be kind and forgiving to yourself and recognize that you matter and that there is help available to you, and people who will invest in you.