Obi-Wan is, to my mind, the most consequential Jedi in the time period taking place from the prequels to the original movies in my opinion. To quickly touch on that point, he trained both Anakin and Luke, who are the primary characters across those six movies and the assorted series that take place in that timeframe. He may not have been the most powerful Jedi, the most accomplished or decorated, but he was the most consistent and I would go so far as to say the most loyal to his word. So, with that stated, we can look at why I think he can serve as the model for what parenting should look like.

I have shared a good amount of things from the abusive relationship I survived, and today is just another exploration of that. So, for those who are still healing, proceed with caution. For those who are unsure if they are in an abusive relationship or have concerns that they may have a friend or family member in one, this could be a post you find helpful. As an added bonus (or punishment) to those who continue reading, much of today’s writing was inspired by the musical “Hamilton” so there will be plenty of references to it scattered throughout because damn, it really is great song after great song with some amazing lyrics and storytelling. For those familiar with the musical, I referenced a song towards the tail end of the musical in the title today, and that is where I want to start.

I often feel like I straddle a line in masculinity. I grew up in the age of getting called names if you cried in front of other people and with the idea that men should be almost stoic save for when they win or lose the big game or retire from a sport. I was told as a kid that if I was going to cry, I should go to my room and do it in private and so the number of people on this planet who have seen me cry is pretty damn small.

I have always loved music and my taste in music is quite wide-ranging. I am always willing to check out new artists or new styles of music and try to keep an open mind. To me, music is just like any art form, some people will “get” it and some people will not. To me that means that some types of music will resonate with one person, but other types will not. So maybe you love metal, but country is not your jam. That does not diminish country nor assume that anyone and everyone who loves country is wrong, it just means it is not the right fit for you individually. However, I think everyone has some music they like or enjoy, and I have yet to have a conversation with anyone who just detests music and wishes it were not a part of our world. With that understanding, I feel like the music someone enjoys, even their favorite artist or song can tell you so much about them. One of my favorite things is the sharing of music across a relationship, whether a friendship or a romantic partnership, because you can begin to understand more and more about the person.

One of my dearest friends started a clothing line targeted at people who train in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ). Although I have never done any BJJ I wanted to support my friend and so as soon as I could snag an item that I would be able to use, I did so. Did I do this out of guilt or obligation? No, not really. There was no expectation from him that I buy his stuff but to me I have a desire to support people I care about in ways I can. He is not the first friend who had a business I made some efforts to support, and he likely will not be the last. For me, this is just part of being a friend, being supportive and showing a sense of loyalty. I will root for you, and I will offer support from following a new account on social, to sharing with friends, or to making a purchase when I am showing loyalty to someone. However, I think many of us have a warped idea of loyalty and that is often something that may be holding us back in our lives and even on a grander scale across society.

My nine-year-old daughter picked out a Slayer shirt for me at Hot Topic last week. So other than my kid being objectively the coolest why am I bringing this up? Because for me, and the way I see the world there is constant change even when things may be largely the same and I believe for many of us, this can be a lot harder to experience than we may initially realize. While we certainly anticipate changes in our lives, often we get so lost in the bustle of the days and the stressors we have that we miss the small moments.

This is my anniversary. January 24, 2013, I started going to the gym and that was the first step in a bunch of changes in my life. Obviously, we could focus on the physical changes that take place when someone joins a gym and commits to their goals, but there was a domino effect here that was apparent in basically every part of my life. There were of course physical changes, but beyond that there were mental and emotional changes that I went through as well. When I was first super active on social media, Instagram in particular I made a habit of posting about it. There were the side-by-side comparisons where I showed the weight I had dropped (112# for those counting at home) and then the posts transitioned to the new goals I was chasing. The first year it was about maintaining the weight I had lost while exploring new aspects of the gym. Then it was about building strength, then about specific lifting goals or competitions I had looming. But through it all, I was never the expert in my mind. Hell, even as I sit here and write this before my first session of the day, I am never the expert anywhere in my life. This is what I want to unwrap with you today.

Lately I’ve been dressing for revenge.