This is NOT a Mental Health Issue
David Cogdell David Cogdell

This is NOT a Mental Health Issue

There is the old adage of “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”. I suppose by THAT definition it is a mental health issue. As a parent, the pit in my stomach every day I have to hear about another parent who will not get to see and hug their kid that night, and the anxiety I feel about dropping my kids off at school becomes oppressive.

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The Danger of Happy Endings
David Cogdell David Cogdell

The Danger of Happy Endings

First of all, not those. I love a story with a happy ending. In fact, chances are if I read a book or watch a movie with an ambiguous or an unhappy ending, I will feel disappointed. While I recognize that sometimes that may make sense from a plot perspective or may even prove the point the writer of the story is trying to convey, I still will feel what I am going to feel.

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My Patriotism
David Cogdell David Cogdell

My Patriotism

I have grappled with writing this for a long time. There is a part of me that does not want to open myself up to personal attacks or to people who want to criticize and attack. So, let me preface this with saying those who do specifically want to criticize and attack and make personal statements are simply proving my point and are exactly the thing I am highlighting and calling out here. The need to angrily express YOUR opinion on someone else’s post is part of the problem, because rather than discourse, discussion and respect it comes down to being the louder, angrier, and full of venom, spite and personal attacks individual. So, for those who are compelled to do that, just recognize you are proving my point for me, thank you.

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Parenting With (the) Force
David Cogdell David Cogdell

Parenting With (the) Force

Obi-Wan is, to my mind, the most consequential Jedi in the time period taking place from the prequels to the original movies in my opinion. To quickly touch on that point, he trained both Anakin and Luke, who are the primary characters across those six movies and the assorted series that take place in that timeframe. He may not have been the most powerful Jedi, the most accomplished or decorated, but he was the most consistent and I would go so far as to say the most loyal to his word. So, with that stated, we can look at why I think he can serve as the model for what parenting should look like.

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The Burn of Gaslighting
David Cogdell David Cogdell

The Burn of Gaslighting

I have shared a good amount of things from the abusive relationship I survived, and today is just another exploration of that. So, for those who are still healing, proceed with caution. For those who are unsure if they are in an abusive relationship or have concerns that they may have a friend or family member in one, this could be a post you find helpful. As an added bonus (or punishment) to those who continue reading, much of today’s writing was inspired by the musical “Hamilton” so there will be plenty of references to it scattered throughout because damn, it really is great song after great song with some amazing lyrics and storytelling. For those familiar with the musical, I referenced a song towards the tail end of the musical in the title today, and that is where I want to start.

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Looking in the Mirror at What it Means to be a Man
David Cogdell David Cogdell

Looking in the Mirror at What it Means to be a Man

I often feel like I straddle a line in masculinity. I grew up in the age of getting called names if you cried in front of other people and with the idea that men should be almost stoic save for when they win or lose the big game or retire from a sport. I was told as a kid that if I was going to cry, I should go to my room and do it in private and so the number of people on this planet who have seen me cry is pretty damn small.

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Why Music Matters
David Cogdell David Cogdell

Why Music Matters

I have always loved music and my taste in music is quite wide-ranging. I am always willing to check out new artists or new styles of music and try to keep an open mind. To me, music is just like any art form, some people will “get” it and some people will not. To me that means that some types of music will resonate with one person, but other types will not. So maybe you love metal, but country is not your jam. That does not diminish country nor assume that anyone and everyone who loves country is wrong, it just means it is not the right fit for you individually. However, I think everyone has some music they like or enjoy, and I have yet to have a conversation with anyone who just detests music and wishes it were not a part of our world. With that understanding, I feel like the music someone enjoys, even their favorite artist or song can tell you so much about them. One of my favorite things is the sharing of music across a relationship, whether a friendship or a romantic partnership, because you can begin to understand more and more about the person.

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The Price of Loyalty
David Cogdell David Cogdell

The Price of Loyalty

One of my dearest friends started a clothing line targeted at people who train in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ). Although I have never done any BJJ I wanted to support my friend and so as soon as I could snag an item that I would be able to use, I did so. Did I do this out of guilt or obligation? No, not really. There was no expectation from him that I buy his stuff but to me I have a desire to support people I care about in ways I can. He is not the first friend who had a business I made some efforts to support, and he likely will not be the last. For me, this is just part of being a friend, being supportive and showing a sense of loyalty. I will root for you, and I will offer support from following a new account on social, to sharing with friends, or to making a purchase when I am showing loyalty to someone. However, I think many of us have a warped idea of loyalty and that is often something that may be holding us back in our lives and even on a grander scale across society.

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