Change

Change is inevitable.  We can see it throughout our history from the way we communicate with each other, to the tools and devices we use in our daily life.  As a culture, we readily embrace change on one hand and actively fight it on the other hand.  We welcome the upgrade to our device with the latest thing making the still really new thing suddenly seem obsolete.  We get excited for the new restaurant opening that fills a niche that was lacking or maybe replaces one of an endless string of chains that are almost indistinguishable from each other.  Yet we get upset when our favorite restaurant changes their menu and suddenly our favorite item is no longer there or a new process is enacted at work that is supposedly going to save the company money and make doing your job easier or at least more efficient.  We screech about those changes maybe even taking to the latest social media platform on our cutting-edge device to let the world know about how horrible this change is.

We are all guilty of being on both sides of the change continuum and I would say that’s just a human thing.  Oddly enough often the thing we are most excited about with change may be something someone else dreads.  While a new phone for those of us with technical proficiency or decent finances is attainable and exciting (for about the first week until you realize it still is pretty much the same device with some neat new features that probably weren’t worth the price of the immediate upgrade) for someone whose family is struggling financially maybe it just feels like an incredibly burden to bear.  Maybe a single mom’s teenage child MUST HAVE the new device or feel socially displaced, while the mom is worrying about putting a meal on the table for the next week.  Or maybe an older person has just finally gotten the hang of where all the things are on their model, and the way it works after owning it for 5 years or more, and suddenly there phone just isn’t working and because of the age and the obsolescence cycle none of the phones available now are at all similar enough for an easy transition for them.  The trepidation and the frustration of having to learn is a huge burden for them.

You can’t argue that just because change is inevitable that it is always GOOD.  In fact, I would wager the people who work for Coca Cola would say that change sometimes is the worst thing that can happen.  A child whose family has to relocate yet again after settling in to the fifth new school and community in as many years may absolutely dread change and may begin to fall further and further behind socially and educationally being unable to put down roots and establish friendships and get into one particular rhythm.  That change could be detrimental to this child and could have long-lasting impacts.  So rather than just focusing on CHANGE which is such a broad term in and of itself that it casts a big shadow, lets narrow our focus on positive change.  Not change that necessarily gives us that NEW PHONE feeling but rather the change that can hurt and is a struggle that results in a positive movement in our lives. 

Honestly, if you have sought out these writings you are someone who likely believes in and values change.  Maybe you are in the midst of those torturous growing pains in your soul that feel like you’ll never feel ok again or you have just emerged with the fresh scars on your soul from enduring significant changes and you are looking for affirming writings.   Late spoiler alert:  for those who have not gone through or are not currently going through this…well the good news is you come out the other side and you’ll be better for it.  This change is a critical component in life.  It is both crippling and empowering (not necessarily at the same time) and in some ways is akin to being reborn.  Your perspective changes, the things you value shift and your goals are suddenly vastly different from what they were.  Maybe this happens suddenly all in a very short time span or maybe this change takes years and years to sort out.  There is no one way for it to happen and no right or wrong way to go through this process.

However, the elephant in this room and likely the biggest thorn within our society is people who refuse to change.  I don’t simply mean the people who will only ever have the same Sunday dinner from the same restaurant in perpetuity.  Rather the segment of society who when confronted with truth or evidence of injustice or pain being delivered simply refuses to see it.  Even worse are those who see it and refuse to acknowledge it or act to intervene.  Anyone can change.  There are so many cases of people who when confronted with their hideous natures or abysmal choices have had the insight to make amends and alter themselves.  The process was not an easy one.  The neo-Nazi can’t just snap his fingers and his tattoos and hate crimes just suddenly disappear.  He has to confront himself; he has to look in the mirror day after day and see into his own eyes and witness his tattoos that remind him of who he has been and what he has believed.  He has to make peace with who he was and the choices and actions he took and from that guilt and shame dive headfirst into a new life to move forward and rise above who he was and who he has hurt.  When I see stories of people in that situation or something similar, it makes my heart soar.  I think it’s beautiful to see people change and to see people become a better human than they were before. 

Yet some will willfully choose to ignore the evidence that they are in the wrong and will adamantly refuse to change because they don’t want to.  They will seek out media that reinforces their broken beliefs no matter how fringe they are.  They will ascribe to rhetoric that fits with their own narrative and seek out confirmation bias sources.  They will speak things into existence that you immediately want to fact check because it sounds so absurd and off-the-wall it simply has to be made up, maybe even pure satire.  Somehow, along the way maybe through the advent of social media and the feeling of making the world smaller, these people have found a way to become a vocal majority in some places, drowning out those who are seeking bettering society.  How do we fix this?  Therein lies the problem.  You can’t fix someone else.  We are each directly responsible for our choices for good or ill.  So, what we must do is continue to fight the good fight within ourselves.  We must continue to strive for our own change to be an ongoing process.  The initial growth that came about must be nurtured in an ongoing way through reading, meditating, fellowship, therapy or whatever means it takes for you to keep going and clearing a path for others to follow.  Perhaps at some point, the neighbor will look over and see the growth you have cultivated on your side of the fence and want to know the secret.  Then we may impact that person and allow them to experience the transformation that comes with change.