My Patriotism

I have grappled with writing this for a long time. There is a part of me that does not want to open myself up to personal attacks or to people who want to criticize and attack. So, let me preface this with saying those who do specifically want to criticize and attack and make personal statements are simply proving my point and are exactly the thing I am highlighting and calling out here. The need to angrily express YOUR opinion on someone else’s post is part of the problem, because rather than discourse, discussion and respect it comes down to being the louder, angrier, and full of venom, spite and personal attacks individual. So, for those who are compelled to do that, just recognize you are proving my point for me, thank you.

Today is a day that we have celebrated for more than two centuries, American Independence Day. I have super fond memories growing up of the Fourth, my family reunions were always centered around that, and I come from family of veterans, so we really valued the celebration of our country and were people who appreciated the country we live in. I loved the fireworks, the music and the pageantry of it all, and it was something hardwired into my upbringing. I loved the Fourth and I loved the USA.

Beyond the Fourth, I recall seeing soldiers off who were going to be deployed, my dad and I getting up early to be supportive. For him it was probably healing as he was in Vietnam and the attitude towards service members was vastly different. We always had an American flag hanging on our porch and my dad talked extensively about respect for the flag and the country. From an early age I expressed that when my grandad died the only items I wanted left to me were his Purple Heart (from World War II) and his Bible, which was his constant companion. I grew up going to church, my grad school was a Christian institution, and one of my earliest tattoos is a Christian themed tattoo, which continues to get compliments to this day.

Faith and country were both key pieces of who I am and who I was growing up. In college I joined the College Republicans, and registered as a Republican, and met and voted for many Republican candidates for U.S House, Senate and President. Then 2016 happened, and while I voted in the Republican primary, it was not for the person who would go on to become the nominee, and eventual president. I saw that person as someone who was against everything I believed. I viewed them as toxic and damaging to the country. They seemed more concerned with themselves, being divisive, and not at all a person of any kind of faith. At that time, I had also very recently had my second child, and becoming a father shifted some things inside me.

So, today I sit here, on a day meant to celebrate the birth of the nation I was born in, and was raised to love, in the year of an election where the last two presidents are facing off and admittedly, I do not feel celebratory. I do not feel that the country is united on anything at this point, and I do not believe either of these candidates will unite the country. Arguably, I feel that those who support one will vote for that one regardless and vice versa. Sure, there may be some who are undecided, but no matter who wins, roughly half the country will be upset or perhaps even angry to the point of riotous behavior.

So, how do I choose? How do I feel okay with two old men, both of whom have their issues and their shortcomings? For me, it boils down to making a choice of which one I will be able to live with myself choosing. As the son and grandson of military veterans, and as a father raised in the church, I feel one of these has made efforts to be a public servant, whereas the other has talked about draining the swamp, and ended up refilling it with grifters and even more criminals. That makes it feel like a clear choice to me, that the incumbent is the only option. Because I love my daughter, and want her to have the same rights and bodily autonomy I have, and because I love my clients who may differ from me in their race, gender, who they love, who they worship and so many other ways, I will vote for the man less likely to actively fight against the ideas of “liberty and justice for all”, especially as the other has campaigned on removing liberty from some people, which is an act of division. So, since I want America to be good, kind, loving, accepting and a place where we all have freedom, I will vote for the person not actively seeking to divide the country and the one who is not prioritizing themselves and their friends. They are both human, and therefore flawed, with deficits on either side.

My true hope is echoed in a lyric from a song first performed by Tina Turner, and the cover from Ghost where I heard it most recently:

            Looking for something, we can rely on

            There’s gotta be something better out there

            Love and Compassion

            Their day is coming

            All else are castles built in the air

We do not need a hero, but we do desperately need love and compassion.