This is NOT a Mental Health Issue

There is the old adage of “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”. I suppose by THAT definition it is a mental health issue. As a parent, the pit in my stomach every day I have to hear about another parent who will not get to see and hug their kid that night, and the anxiety I feel about dropping my kids off at school becomes oppressive. There has always been separation geographically from the violence that happened at other schools, but I knew my community was not, and is not, immune from it. Then, yesterday happened. A school I have worked in conjunction with during my career, and a school that I have driven past numerous times was the one featured on the news. People in the community I have served for my entire career in mental health were directly impacted, and not just in the sense of the heightened fear and anxiety, but as victims. I honestly don’t have the words I want to have, because this has been happening over and over across the country for decades now, with no changes. The things I have said in the past, the feelings I have expressed, the tears I have shed for children who were not my own, and the families who are left with an emotional wound that likely will never fully heal are all still present, but now I feel drained, empty, and numb.

I often turn to music when I can’t quite name the feeling, I have but know the realm of what I am experiencing. I have songs I know I can delve into when I feel something in the vicinity of sad, or ones when I feel joyous and want to celebrate. Sadly, I know the exact song that will always come to mind in the aftermath of a school shooting, and it is “Save the World” by Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit. The shooting he alludes to in that song hit me in ways others did not, because as news of it broke, I was at my son’s school for an awards ceremony. I had this knowledge that just a few states over a terrible tragedy was happening, and I was trying to be present and express joy over accomplishments as a school year ended on a high note for my family. I don’t know if any other parents there got the news when I did, but the pall it cast for me that day, and the weird dichotomy is not something I will likely ever forget. The Isbell song, and the experience I had both reflect empathy for the experiences of others, but also an understanding that we are not immune to this epidemic either. Today our kids may escape, and we feel a sense of relief to hold them close, but then also feel guilty because we recognize our good fortune and mourn with a family we have never met and do not know.

We are stuck in an endless loop of little boys who are acting with violence towards their peers and the people who educate them. We have regulated movies, tv shows, video games, music and a variety of substances with the goal of keeping our children “safe”. We have people who worry about children being exposed to someone who has parents of the same gender, or who worships a different god than they do, and who want to regulate other people’s bodies, who will tell you this is a mental health issue. On a grand scale, yes there is some truth to that. We consistently expose ourselves to tragedy after tragedy, and we make no efforts nor inroads to actually address the issue. We accumulate trauma after trauma and then sign the planner in our kids’ backpacks while we send them back to the place, we cannot keep them safe. We act like we are okay, and we get emails about the school conducting “active shooter drills” so that our kids are prepared for days like yesterday. Yet nothing changes. We are back here mourning the death of children who got up and went to school.

There is a part of me that wants to highlight the role of toxic masculinity in all of this. The perpetrators are always boys, and we know that the world tells them to grow up either being happy or angry, and when they are angry and hurt, they resort to violence. But that does this all a disservice, because while that may be part of the story, the issue at hand is guns. We have politicians who are actively serving corporations who want to keep guns widely and readily available. I do not begrudge anyone the right to own firearms, again I own them too. I also believe there should be more regulations, there should be a higher bar to owning one, and for people who are clearly not responsible gun owners, there should be harsh penalties. At this point, if you are supporting all the regulations and efforts I noted earlier, and want to say it is not the guns, then what you actually need to be saying is “I care more about owning guns on my terms than I care about the innocent lives of schoolchildren”.

I have lived in the community where this event happened for 30 years, and I have served this community in the mental health field for over 15. Georgia has never been at the forefront of mental health care, but in this community, there are resources that are available. There are hospitals, community service boards, private practice clinicians, mobile crisis services, and multiple hotlines as well as school programs that are available to access for people in this community. Those who are in a position to make real and genuine changes legislatively speaking will cite this as a mental health issue, yet they will refuse to raise taxes or shift budgets to increase the reach of services. They will side with corporations who make access to care harder and more expensive, and they will continue to attempt to tell you this is not a gun issue. It is time for action, and I call directly on Mike Collins who is the U.S Congressman for this community and Brian Kemp who is the Governor of the State of Georgia to put action in place. Not thoughts and prayers, not deflections, but actions to keep our kids safe. If they can’t do that, then what they are telling this community today is that they honestly don’t give a damn about us or our children.