We Are Not a Monolith

I toyed with how I wanted to start this topic. Part of me considered the quotation I first heard from Lewis Grizzard in my childhood where he said he was “American by birth, southern by the grace of God”, but when I looked it up, that phrase was not attributed to him, and honestly there were far too many rebel flags associated with it for me to want that to be what I tied myself to. Ages ago I talked about my struggles with certain imagery and the way my relationship to those things has evolved from my childhood, primarily certain logos or mascots in sports, and definitely orange cars that liked to jump over Hazzards (wink wink). The things I identified with innocence and fondness in my childhood were not so innocent, no matter how fond I am or was of them. So, I have had to reexamine my relationship to them over time as I have learned new things. Much the same way, I have had to explore what it means to be a man from the South as I have grown up, and explore society’s caricatures of that, and my own discomfort with who I am and where I hail from. So, rather than a phrase associated (to me) with a Southern humorist who is a beloved and treasured piece of my childhood, I chose to lean into a Key & Peele skit my friend Richard recently reintroduced me to. Us Southern men are not a monolith, no matter how people may try to paint us as such.

Much of my thinking and reconsidering of my own heritage has been sparked by a denial of who I am, where I am from, and what I carry with me. One look at me and you just know I love fried chicken and biscuits, and honestly some people equate my appearance with an opportunity to display ignorance. I think as a society we all make assumptions about people, because we want to group the world into an “us” and a “them”, but I far prefer an approach that is all of us and will quote a sticker on my water bottle “y’all means all”. I do not have an overly noticeable accent, despite being born and raised in Georgia, yet if you get me under the influence or around enough other folks WITH an accent, suddenly it starts to roll out. If you ever see the bill of my hat at a greater than 45-degree angle from my shoulders, prepare to hear some serious drawl. However, my natural and normal speaking rhythms are formally rooted in where I am from. A dear friend offered the critique of the videos I post online that I should “try talking faster”, and really, I have no idea how to do that. That may be the first of many reasons I was never cast on a single episode of the Gilmore Girls, despite my love of the show.

Historically, having someone point out my slower speaking rhythms may have caused me to feel worth less, or like there was something I needed to do to adjust myself. Now I recognize that is just a sign of who I am and where I am from, and it is organic and authentic. There has always been the perception than us Southerners were intellectually slower, and that we were backwards, racist, and a host of other negative ideas about us. We were convinced that our accents and our foods were things to be ashamed of. Growing up, Atlanta was not seen as in the conversation with the New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles levels of cities. While there may not be the same drive or desire to see Atlanta as those other cities, I have come to love and appreciate it in ways that will always make it “home”.

A big part of my appreciation stems now from the fact that we are showing the world a great diversity and even at times some progressive thought. I would argue that industry has put Atlanta on the map, both with multiple global companies headquartered here, but also with how (to my mind) Atlanta has become the hip hop spot. The old east coast versus west coast rivalries have faded, and Atlanta has some of the best acts in the game who have shaped the industry the last decade plus. But further than that, the idea of a Southerner being slow or behind the times is being slowly erased by so many people accomplishing and achieving on a big level, and many of those are not being shy about being Southern, instead they proudly proclaim where they are from and what that means to them. From articles I read from The Bitter Southerner to music and interviews with Jason Isbell, and many voices in the online space who are from the South, but do not play into stereotypes, accent or not. Seeing the successes of these people, finding more and more people who share common ground with me, not just in terms of where we are from, but in how we think, and feel is heartening. Almost like we are not a monolith as Southerners.

In line with these examples of what the changes look like, my hope and dream is that we in the South continue to show increasingly progressive values. My hope is we can truly love our neighbors and care for one another in the way my grandparents always displayed. None of us is perfect, but creating true community and embracing our shared values as humans will take us so much further than highlighting these differences. Seeking unity in our shared humanity allows us to bridge whatever gaps and appreciate each other so much more.