Why Music Matters
I have always loved music and my taste in music is quite wide-ranging. I am always willing to check out new artists or new styles of music and try to keep an open mind. To me, music is just like any art form, some people will “get” it and some people will not. To me that means that some types of music will resonate with one person, but other types will not. So maybe you love metal, but country is not your jam. That does not diminish country nor assume that anyone and everyone who loves country is wrong, it just means it is not the right fit for you individually. However, I think everyone has some music they like or enjoy, and I have yet to have a conversation with anyone who just detests music and wishes it were not a part of our world. With that understanding, I feel like the music someone enjoys, even their favorite artist or song can tell you so much about them. One of my favorite things is the sharing of music across a relationship, whether a friendship or a romantic partnership, because you can begin to understand more and more about the person. Although, for some that could also mean a sudden understanding of being incompatible.
One of the most amazing things to me about music is the ability of it to make us feel. Sometimes that feeling is from the words associated with the music and sometimes it is just the music itself. I recall several years ago while putting my daughter to bed she shared with me she was not sure she wanted to watch any additional YouTube videos because one she had seen that day made her cry because the music was so sad. This prompted a conversation between us around emotions and music where I told her there were tons of songs that did the same to me, and while some days I may have avoided those because I did not want to cry, that at other times I sought those songs out because I was sad, and I wanted to feel less alone in my sadness. For many of us, music is a way to feel emotions maybe we can’t put a name to, or perhaps would rather not put a name to. The right song or even section of a song can dislodge us when we feel stuck, maybe helping the tears to begin flowing freely or to help us celebrate more wholly when we have a great experience. Truly, one of the most beautiful aspects of music is we can experience the emotions even when we do not understand the language the lyrics are in, or when there are no lyrics at all. I have had people share with me that they prefer that when they are seeking a certain feeling because then they don’t get caught up in the backstory in the lyrics. The other wonderful part t that is music is often readily accessible and thanks to the internet, you can listen to just about any song your heart is craving with just a quick search. Hell, some people even cultivate lists of songs to feel certain emotions, although everyone will respond differently.
Beyond the emotional aspect of music is the bond and connection music creates. Immediately as I type that I think of so many ways that music has served as a bond, and even how there are certain things if I mention someone may immediately pick up on that and run with it. For instance, if I mention “4*Town” there is a subsection who will know what’s up (typically Disney adults and parents who love the movie “Turning Red”), and if I talk about having friends in low places, other people might volunteer that the whiskey drowns and the beer chases (because they are Garth Brooks fans), or if I mention being at a concert and seeing a bunch of people sit on the floor and begin rowing, another (admittedly smaller) subsection would probably remark “oh damn, I did not know you knew Amon Amarth”. In all of these, our shared knowledge creates a bond between us which is something I always believe we can find with any other fellow human. That common ground is a basis for us seeing another person as similar to us and brings us closer rather than creating a divide. This works across generations as well, as I connect with people older than me with my knowledge and appreciation of music that is older than me. I also now get to share music with my kids, who I encourage to express musical opinions to me. Some mornings in the car we may listen to something like the “Descendants 3” soundtrack, or we may be listening to some of “my music”, but it is an opportunity for the kids and I to share and bond with music. As they get older, both are more opinionated with their music choices and also recognition of specific artists. Really the only impact it has on me is sometimes getting suggestions for artists I have never heard, and at the end of the year seeing names I may be surprised to see as some of my top artists of the year.
My belief is always that as people we should seek chances to connect with others because that is an entry to understanding them and being able to show empathy. Since music transcends purely language, I will always turn to it as a way to bond with people. You would be surprised at the friends you can create through a shared love of music, and how those continue to spiderweb out from the initial connection. Taking time to share an artist you love, invite someone to a concert with you, or even listening to an artist someone else loves will always help bring you closer together.